Saturday, February 27, 2016

A Witch!

I feel the need for a little comic relief today, so we’ll veer away from the brief for a moment…

Peasants and Sherlock: We have found a witch! (A witch! a witch!)
Burn her burn her!
Sherlock: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
Judge: How do you known she is a witch?
Peasants: The newspaper said so!
J: Bring her forward
Woman: I'm not a witch! I'm not a witch!
J: ehh... but you look like one here on the front page.
W: They fabricated the evidence that is printed there!
All: naah no we didn't... no.
W: And these aren’t legitimate accusations, they’re false ones.
J: Well?
S: Well I did do the media fabrication.
J: The fabrication?
S: ...And the fear mongering, but she is a witch!
(all: yeah, burn her burn her!)
J: (with newspaper) Did you write her up like this?
S & P: No! (no no... no) Yes. (yes yeah) a bit (a bit bit a bit) But she is on the registry!
(P holds up smartphone)
J: What makes you think she is a witch?
P: Well, she was in a gymnastics gym!
J: A gym?!
(P pause & look around)
P: She wasn’t coaching children and absolutely nothing untoward happened.
P: Burn her anyway! (burn her burn her burn!)
J: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
P: Are there? Well then tell us! (tell us)
J: Tell me... what do you do with witches?
P: Burn'em! Burn them up! (burn burn burn)
J: What do you burn apart from witches?
P: More witches!
P: Wood!
J: So, why do witches burn?
(long pause)
P: Cuz they're made of... wood?
J: Gooood. So, how do we tell if she is made of wood?
P: Consult a wood expert!
J: Ahh, but can you trust a wood expert to be infallible?
P: Only if he is an authority figure, because they can always be trusted.
J: Is anyone here a wood expert?
S: Yes, I am
J: But didn’t you do the media fabrication?
(S shows police badge)
P: Trust him anyway!
S: You saw her in a gym?
P: I did!
S: What else can be found in a gym?
P: Bars
P: Mats
P: Beams!
S: And what are beams made of?
P: Wood!!
S: So if she was in the same place as a beam… she’s made of wood!
J: And therefore,
(pause & think)
P: A witch!
(S smiles and places his badge of infallibility back into his pants, which happen to be on fire, as he is a liar, but nobody notices in the excitement of having found a “witch”)

Ok, I hope you recognize that the idea for this scenario came from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I hope you can recognize the similarities between the witch hunt in this scene of the movie and the absurd accusations and subsequent witch hunt brought against my mom by Sherlock.  Don’t be taken in like the peasants in this story.  This “wood expert” is presenting non-evidence in a non-crime and he expects us all to trust him because he is an “authority figure”. Uniforms and titles don’t change liars into honest men, they just give them the power to abuse the people who dare tell the truth.

More to come...
Please help us fight this corrupt system with the help of our new attorney--Thanks very much!

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